Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize