i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
