Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
