I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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