dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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