The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
