she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize