Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
