carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
