TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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