Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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