Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
