I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
