just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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