so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
