butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I CAN MOONWALK!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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