VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
