I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
