Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Say something about gay babies.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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