The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
