From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
