I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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