i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
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