after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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