Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We need to get me chipped asap
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize