Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
