Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
