this just has baby written all over it
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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