In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Someone shattered a urinal.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
