Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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