make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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