Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
