Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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