the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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