Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
