Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
