New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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