it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize