Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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