____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
