Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
