well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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