i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
