U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I looked at my own cervix.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
