I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
