I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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