She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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