i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
i believe in u and ur pee
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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