i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
