is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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