if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize