i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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