Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
