dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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