i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
