I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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