He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
