Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
me + whiskey = a bad person
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
