Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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