i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
