Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
