I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
