I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
