just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
