You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So vagazzling was a success
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
