I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
