This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
