ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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