Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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