she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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