Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize