I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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