Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
